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A Little  Healthy Humor With Big Belly Laughs
                                                                           ...and
Comfy Warm Smiles For The Soul 
                                                                  (On the lighter side of pets and their people)...                 

 

 

 

 

 


IF A DOG WERE YOUR TEACHER... 

You would learn stuff like---                                         

 

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

When it’s in your best interest…practice obedience.

Let others know when they’ve invaded your territory.

Take naps and stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting, when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lay under a shady tree.

When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

No matter how often you’re scolded, don’t buy into the guilt thing and pout…

Run right back and make friends.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you’ve had enough. 

Be loyal.

Never pretend you’re something you’re not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.                                               

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.



Click on the link below to see a
  Most Amazing Couple



Uh oh...fur and feathers

The cat and mouse snuggle



A first grade school teacher in Virginia had twenty-five students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the first half of a well known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.

It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are first graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!


1. Don't change horses..........................until they stop running.
       
2. Strike while the.................................bug is close.
       
3. It's always darkest before...................Daylight Saving Time.
      
4. Never underestimate the power of .......termites.
       
5. You can lead a horse to water but ..... how?                            
       
6. Don't bite the hand that ....................looks dirty.
       
7. No news is.......................................impossible.
       
8. A miss is as good as a .................... Mr. 

 

9. You can't teach an old dog new ........ math.
       
10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll ......stink in the morning.
       
11. Love all, trust ............................... me.
       
12. The pen is mightier than the ...........pigs.
       
13. An idle mind is...............................the best way to relax.
       
14. Where there's smoke there's ............pollution.
       
15. Happy the bride who........................gets all the presents.
       
16. A penny saved is ..........................not much
       
17. Two's company, three's ................ the Musketeers
       
1. Don't put off till tomorrow what ...... you put on to go to bed.
       
19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and..... you have to blow your nose.
       
20. There are none so blind as ........... Stevie Wonder.
       
21. Children should be seen and not ....spanked or grounded.
       
22. If at first you don't succeed ............. get new batteries.
       
23. You get out of something only what you ... see in the picture on the box.
       
24. When the blind lead the blind ......... get out of the way.

 

And the WINNER and last one!
       

25. Better late than.................................... pregnant



We're bein' cool

Whoaaaa...
They're never gonna let me forget this!



Just don't quite know about this one... Ya think the wolf is feelin' the love here?



Click on the following link to watch an amazing video of NORA THE CAT:
Nora the Famous Cat~Practice Makes Purr-fect!

 

Click on the next link to see be-bopin bird talent:
The Bird Dance





Liver And Cheese

Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street
when they see a beautiful, enticing female poodle.
The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on
themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.

Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the
three suitors, she decides to be kind, and tells them,
"The first one who can use the words 'liver and cheese'
together in an imaginative sentence, can go out with me."

The sturdy, muscular Black Lab speaks up quickly
and says, "I love liver and cheese!"

"Oh, how simple minded", said the poodle.
"That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever!"

She turns to the tall shiny Golden Retriever and says,
"How well can you do?"
"Um, I don't like liver and cheese", blurts the Golden.

"My, my", said the poodle, "I guess it's hopeless.
"That's just as silly and unimaginative as the Labs' sentence!"

She then turns to the last of the three dog's and says,
"How about you little guy?"

The last of the three, tiny in stature,
but big in fame and finesse, is the Taco Bell Chihuahua.

He gives her a smile, a sly wink and turns
to the Golden Retriever and Lab and says...

"Liver alone, Cheese mine!"




Relax Spot, it's not for you.

Ahhhh...The warmest seat in the house



Aahhaaa!...isn't this really why we left the corporate world to start our small businesses...
and our supervisors weren't sorry to see us go?...

As side splitting and hard to believe as this seems, I was informed the following is a true accident report;

How it happened...

Dear Sir, "I am writing in response to your request for additional information in block 3 of the accident report form. I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. You asked for a more full explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient."

"I was alone on the roof of a new 6 story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over, which when weighed later, were found to be slightly more than 500 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the 6th floor. Securing the rope at the ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it."

"Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly, ensuring a slow descent of the bricks.

You will note in block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135 Lbs.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my prescence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vacinity of the 3rd floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed.

This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.

Slowed down slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers on my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.

Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience a great deal of pain.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 Lbs.

I refer you again to my weight.

As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vacinity of the 3rd floor, I met the barrel coming upward.

This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth, the lacerations on my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly.

The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries, when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope, and I lay there, watching the barrel begin it's journey back down onto me.

This explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your questions."  Danny



Can you see me now?

Customs sniffer dog



THIS CRAZY ENGLISH LANGUAGE

If you ever feel stunned then just read on. If you've learned to speak fluent English, you must be a genius! This little treatise on the lovely language we share is only for the brave. Peruse at your leisure, English lovers. Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. ???

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail

18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests

21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?



There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France (Surprise!). Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.


Dear God
Thank you for the treats
we are about to receive

Supervised dining out



The Imposter



Now, on a much more serious note, the following story is not only incredible, but valuable for us to understand the sheer power and determination of dogs who travel in packs. It has been contributed from a friend I met on a military site:

Subject: Dogs Kill Alligator
Date: 28 May 2007 -0700 




Dog Pack Attacks Gator In Florida

At times nature can be cruel, but there is also a raw beauty, and even a certain justice manifested within that cruelty.

The alligator, one of the oldest and ultimate predators, normally considered the "apex predator", can still fall victim to implemented 'team work' strategy, made possible due to the tight knit social structure and "survival of the pack mentality" bred into the canines.

See the remarkable photograph below courtesy of Nature Magazine. Note that the Alpha dog has a muzzle hold on the gator preventing it from breathing, while another dog has a hold on the tail to keep it from thrashing. The third dog attacks the soft underbelly of the gator.




Not for the
squeamish!
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...I knew that would bring a warm smile to you!



Talent without discipline is like an octopus on roller skates.
There's plenty of movement, but you never know if it's
going to be forward, backwards, or sideways.

                                                              ~ H Jackson Brown Jr.